Realistic Expectations

So the rest of the week was pretty much a blur. Luca was either awake and dealing with teething (shoving his hands in his mouth, crying, or making weird noises because of the gum soother we got him), or sleeping. He had a hard time sleeping during the day, and I kept telling my wife hes just going through a phase.

She gets home this weekend and he instantly changed into a happy go lucky little baby. He would sleep as soon as she put him down for a nap…no holding his passy in for him while he yells and screams and chews it…no whining when she puts him down to go make a bottle…. no fighting her to finish it…

It kinda made me feel like I am doing a terrible job. My wife and I got into a slight argument in the middle of the night because when I put him down for bed that night I didnt swaddle him. He woke up squirming at about 2–3 am. Things were said that neither of us meant.

We have resolved this conflict and apologized to each other. I get it… being woken up in the middle of the night is brutal…but its worth realizing that you have a baby. Thats just part of it for a while. Not every day is going to go smoothly. Not every day is going to even be good. Who said it was supposed to be? You aren’t owed good days or bad days or any days at all. To expect everything to be squeaky clean and perfect every day is just setting yourself up for disappointment.

I feel like maybe that is what I was doing at the end of the week last week while I was taking care of Luca. I was just expecting things to go smoothly and just not coming to terms with the fact that its just not healthy to live with that mindset. Life is difficult. Pursuing things is difficult. It SHOULD BE.

We all have responsibilities. Pick up the heaviest thing you can and carry it. We’ve all been fed this diet of freedoms and rights and it has clouded our judgement. Without the weight of responsibility in our lives what makes them meaningful? We all constantly try to avoid our responsibilities to some degree. Dishes pile up in the sink, that ring in your tub isnt getting any less visible, the grass gets too tall to manage, getting to work on time is dreadful to some degree so we drag our feet. ALL WHILE EXPECTING THINGS TO JUST BE PERFECT.

Im approaching this week with something like this mind set. Its a rather pessimistic mind set, but I think a good way to look at it is that we all need to have realistic expectations. Just like training dogs. They dont just know how to sit. You have to repeatedly try to teach them while understanding they lack the knowledge up front to 1. understand human words, and 2. understand they are being told to do something.

Go into this week with some realistic expectations and surely your disappointment will begin to fade away. How I start to develop realistic expectations is by looking at the things in my life that are disappointing me and then thinking of how those things got to that point because of me. What can I do to remedy that? Adopt a higher level of responsibility is often the answer.

Thanks for sticking around! I hope you got something out of this and hopefully it has helped you. Until next time!

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store